It's the Most Punderful Time of the Year
by baneismydragon
Summary: "Come on my lady, give me a chance? One kiss. We can call it a Christmas Miracle." He hoped his voice didn't sound as desperately pathetic to her as it did to him. "Ok, you want a Christmas Miracle?" she asked, giving him a serious once over, "If you can come up with one of your horrible puns that actually makes me laugh between now and Christmas eve, I will kiss you."


December 1st 9:24 p.m.

"Do you really think these terrible lines of yours will ever work Chaton?"

Chat grinned as Ladybug once again rolled her eyes at his flirtation.

"Eventually," he said lightly, leaning in so that their noses were almost touching.

"How? They are terrible! Why would anyone think that combining puns and pick up lines is attractive?" She put a finger square in the middle of his chest and pushed him, flicking his bell once he was back to his original position.

"Because it's funny. And everyone knows women love a guy with a sense of humor."

"Aww poor Chaton. Looks like you will die alone."

"Hey!"

"I'm just teasing minou. There must be some poor soul out there that will put up with you."

"Are you offering?" he asked, already bracing for yet another rejection.

"Ha. Hardly."

And there it was.

For all their flirting- and Chat would argue to his dying breath that for all her denials she was definitely flirting back- he had never managed to get past the suggestive bantering stage of his courtship. After a year and a half of attempts it was beginning to get a little disheartening.

"Come on my lady, give me a chance? One kiss. We can call it a Christmas Miracle." He hoped his voice didn't sound as desperately pathetic to her as it did to him.

"Ok, you want a Christmas Miracle?" she asked, giving him a serious once over, "If you can come up with one of your horrible puns that actually makes me laugh between now and Christmas eve, I will kiss you."

"Are you serious?" he gasped.

"Yep."

"That's it? Just make you laugh?" he ask, waiting for some sort of impossible catch.

"With a pun."

Ah. There it was.

"How many am I allowed to make?" he asked cautiously, already forming a plan in his mind. It was difficult certainly, but not impossible.

"As many as I can stomach I suppose," she replied, shrugging her shoulders and giving him playful smile.

"You must really want to kiss me after all my lady," he teased, grasping her hand in his and brining it flirtatiously to his lips.

"No I just know that your jokes aren't that funny. Perhaps this will teach _you_ that as well and I can finally be free of them. It will be my Christmas present to myself."

"We shall see, My Lady."

Dec. 2nd 8:17am

"Alya! I need to practice hitting on you!"

"Dude!" Nino said, glaring at his best friend as he came barreling into the courtyard."

"Not like that," Adrien huffed, leveling his friend with an irritated scowl, "I need to know if what I am saying is funny to girls. It's important."

"Why can't you just practice with me instead of hitting on my girlfriend?" Nino asked.

"Because you think everything I say is funny," Adrien replied, waving him off.

"Dude, no one thinks you're funny. Well, except Chloe and Lila, and that's because they just hope that if they smile at you enough you will date them."

"Yeah I figured that out already, thanks," Adrien said sulking.

"So why can't you just practice with me?" Nino asked again. "As your number one bro, I am insulted that my wing manning duties are being usurped."

"Because, regardless of how much you make fun of me you still laugh at my jokes. Even if its 95% pity that still counts. I need a tougher critic."

"What is this even about anyways?" Alya said, placing a placating hand on her boyfriend's shoulder before he could interrupt again.

"I made a bet," Adrien said, "a very important bet, and I need to make someone laugh between now and Christmas or I will lose. So are you guys gonna help me or not?"

"Why don't you just memorize some good jokes?" Alya offered.

"It can't be just any joke, it has to be a pun," Adrien replied, sitting down on the bench beside her.

"Well you're screwed," Nino said.

"So much for being my number one bro," Adrien scowled glaring, which only caused Nino to laugh harder.

"Hey part of being a good friend is being honest, even when it hurts."

"So Alya can you help me or not?" Adrien said giving her his best puppy eyes.

"I mean I can try but I don't know if I am the best person to ask. I actually have a pretty high appreciation for terrible jokes."

"It's true, Nino added, "she howls like a hyena when we watch sit coms."

"What the hell Nino!"

"I told you babe, honesty is an important part of any relationship," he said, casually leaning back against the bench.

"So Adrien, if I break up with Nino want to be my rebound relationship?" Alya said scooting away from Nino and leaning in towards Adrien with a playful wink.

"Hey!"

"Honesty is an important part of any relationship honey," Alya said dryly, still pointedly looking away from her boyfriend.

Adrien choked down a laugh and raised an eyebrow at his grinning friend.

"I donnow, I feel like our romance would be fated to be a tragic tale of grief and despair."

"E tu Adrien?" Nino cried.

"This would be a rebound relationship not a romance," Alya said. "I'm thinking 1-2 months tops of overly elaborate dates and excessively passionate lovemaking, possibly an exotic trip together that just screams emotional overcompensation, before we inevitably break up and go back to being friends."

"Oh. Well in that case sure, sounds like a plan."

"I hate you both so much right now," Nino grumbled.

"Going back to your original problem though," Alya said, "you know who would be a great person for you to ask for help? Marinette."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she hates puns. She loves to complain about this guy from work who never stops making them. If you can make _her_ laugh you will be good to go."

"But if she hates puns so much won't this be a terrible idea? I mean it took almost a year to get her to talk to me without looking like she wanted to run out of the room. I don't really want to screw that up again."

Alya and Nino exchanged excited glances and Adrien felt a knot of nervousness forming in the pit of his stomach.

"It will be fine trust me. She will be delighted to help."

…

Dec. 2nd 11:45pm

"So, do you think you could help me?" Adrien pleaded, hoping that his extremely vague request for assistance would be enough to enlist Marinette's help.

"Of course I want to help. I love you- _I MEAN_ I would love TO!" Marinette babbled, her face having gone from the rosy pink it was at the start of the conversation to a deep scarlet.

"Ok great," Adrien sighed. "See the thing is… ok this is kinda embarrassing…" She looked at him expectantly, clearly ready to help him with whatever crazy project he was looking to take on. "I need to practice seeing if I can make you laugh. You see I made this bet and it's really important that I win."

"You will be great. I am sure it won't be any trouble at all to get me to laugh," Marinette assured him smiling brightly.

Adrien felt himself relax. As terrifying as the bet might be given the stakes, at least now he had an ally. Besides Marinette was ridiculously nice.

"Well the thing is Alya says that you hate puns-"

"p-puns?"

"-and the catch is that it can't be any joke it has to be a pun."

Marinette paled, her eyes going wide and her jaw dropping in shock.

"puns… YOU have to… a bet… with puns?"

Well it looked like Alya hadn't been kidding about her dislike of puns. Adrien felt his own cheeks going warm at the likely hours of torture he was going to have to inflict on his poor friend.

"Yeah, I have from now until Christmas Eve to come up with something-"

"Ch-christmas… oh god…" Marinette staggered back a few paces looking at him like she had never seen him before.

"-and Alya mentioned that you hate puns-" Adrien continued guiltily, wondering if this entire plan had been a horrible mistake.

"this can't be happening," Marinette muttered under her breath.

"-so she thought that you would be the perfect person to practice on." Adrien finished, his hand going nervously to the back of his neck as he watched Marinette take several deep calming breaths.

"Marinette are you ok?" he ask, wondering if he should just tell her that this entire thing had been a prank and that she should forget all about it before running away as fast as he could manage.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, its fine. Everything is fine. It's just a coincidence that's all. A really funny coincidence." She gave him an awkward smile.

"What is?" he asked confused.

"OH there is this guy, uh, from work, and I kinda made a bet with him that he couldn't make me laugh before Christmas either," Marinette said, giving him a strange probing look. "I was just surprised that I would find myself having a similar conversation with… well… you."

Adrien let out a soft sigh of relief, she wasn't upset, thank god.

"Oh, right, the guy Alya said you hate."

Marinette choked, her face once again going a brilliant shade of red.

"I don't hate him! He's a great guy. I just don't… I mean didn't… want to encourage him."

"Well this will be good practice for both of us I guess," Adrien said sheepishly, hoping that he hadn't completely destroyed his friendship with Marinette with this latest harebrained scheme to woo over his Lady.

"Yeah, it will definitely be a learning experience," Marinette replied with an enigmatic smile.

…

December 6th 3:57 pm

Adrien sat with his elbows propped against the library table where he had been practicing his latest round of puns with Marinette. Thus far he had had no success even getting her to crack a smile, she had simply sat at listened like there would be a test on the subject later. It didn't bode well for his patrol tonight with Ladybug. Oh well. He had time, and this was their first attempt. He gave Marinette an encouraging smile as he pried for information about her own pun related wager.

"So he has a crush on you?" "Kinda? I don't think it's very serious, he's just a total flirt," she said softly, not meeting his eyes.

"What makes you think he isn't serious?" Adrien asked curiously.

"He flirts with _puns,"_ she moaned, rolling her eyes in an endearingly agitated gesture, and Adrien couldn't resist a soft laugh.

"I would think that would mean he is more serious," he said tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Why is that?"

"Well, the only people you tell puns to are people you either really hate, or really like. Because either you are trying to make them angry, or you are trying to get them to like you even at your most pathetic."

Marinette's mouth quirked in surprise and she gave him a soft, fond smile.

"Are you speaking from personal experience?" she asked, fixing him with a stare that made his heart speed up in an uncomfortable staccato.

"Maybe." He was the one who looked away.

"Well you're telling me puns," she stated flirtatiously. Since when did Marinette flirt? "So do you really like me or really hate me?"

"We are practicing." Adrien said flatly, hoping that the heat he felt across his skin wasn't as visible as it felt.

"I'm just teasing," Marinette laughed.

Adrien felt like an idiot. It wasn't her fault that he couldn't handle her innocent flirtations. They were friends for God's sake! Friend's flirted all the time. Alya flirted with him regularly, heck so did Nino! Why should it matter that this was Marinette? Marinette with her too wide smiles and adorable freckles and… he was getting off topic.

He was a suave, handsome, intelligent, millionaire supermodel/superhero. He was NOT about to fall apart over a little platonic flirting. He fixed a playful smile on his face and channeled his inner Chat Noir.

"If I had to choose, I would have to go with really like you. It was a close call though. After all, I don't know if I could really be close to someone who doesn't appreciate my amazing sense of humor." He gave her a wink and Marinette burst into peals of delighted laughter.

He ignored the way the sound made the muscles in his gut clench.

"No wonder you have so few friends," she said, but her expression softened into a look of infinite fondness.

"Ouch. That hurts Marinette. Right here."

"I'm just teasing and you know it."

"Nope. I am grievously offended. I shall be in an ill humor all day," he said, unable to resist the playful banter that seemed to make her entire face light up in happy delight.

"You're humor is always ill," she said, her eyes shining.

Adrien leaned in across the table, with a smirk.

"Your lack of support _sickens_ me."

"Oh no."

"I feel like my heart has been _transplanted._ "

"I brought this on myself didn't I?" Marinette moaned burying her face in her arms.

"How will I put up with this _cancerous_ friendship?"

"Still not funny."

"My optometrist thinks my humor is visionary."

"I think your funny bone is broken."

…

Dec. 6th 10:28pm

"Really My Lady? Not even a giggle?"

"I think you had better keep practicing Chaton."

"Be warned Buginette, I have found someone to help me in my quest, someone who had agreed to help me discover the perfect pun no matter how long it takes."

Ladybug simply smiled knowingly. "Lucky girl."

…

Dec. 13th 3:55 pm

"Oh God, Adrien! I think your puns are getting worse…"

"Say it isn't _sew_!"

"Just kill me now."  
"But Marinette, these jokes are _tailored_ just for you! Haven't you noticed a _pattern_?"

"You are so lucky I like you."

"So it would _seam_."

"Are you seriously going to spend the entire day making fashion and sewing puns?"

"I thought it was _fitting_. Besides, after our last session my supply of generic puns has been de- _pleat_ -ed."

"And I thought the bakery puns were the lowest we could get. Are any of these comedy masterpieces working on your mystery girl?"

"Sadly she is still proving about as hard to crack as you are. But I am optimistic that I will be successful with a few _alterations._ How are things going with your co-worker?"

"He's having about as much success as you are."

"Maybe he just needs to _pin down_ what you like instead of _skirting_ around the subject."

"I donnow, he might get there eventually if he keep _needling_."

"Damn, why didn't I think of that one."

…

Dec.19th 11:27pm

"Still nothing?"

"Sorry Chaton, looks like you still need to keep working."

"You know my poor friend is getting tortured daily helping me with this project. Can't you just give me a laugh for her sake? Put the poor girl out of her misery?"

"I have a feeling that she can take care of herself. Better luck next time Minou."

…

Dec. 24th 10:19am.

"I am so screwed aren't I?"

"Who knows? You might get lucky? And for what it's worth I think you are getting better. Even if puns are still the worst possible form of humor."

"Well, no matter what happens, this is the last day. Thanks for everything Marinette." Adrien said, handing her a steaming hot chocolate from the park vendor. "I honestly don't know how you've managed to put up with me for all of this but… it really means a lot to me. You're… you're pretty amazing."

Marinette blushed, giving him a shy smile before taking a long blissful sip of her chocolate. "It was my pleasure Adrien."

"Even with all the puns?"

"Even with the puns. There is a lot more to you than I realized and I just want to say that… well… I'm glad. Really, really glad."

Adrien could feel himself flush at the compliment and tried to hide his own flattered smile behind his own peppermint chocolate.

"Well thanks again for meeting with me over the holiday, I guess I'm as ready as I am gonna be."

"You're going to be fine." She said softly, her own cheeks glowing a soft pink that made her freckles stand out even more prominently across her pale skin.

"Well I should probably go," Adrien said, wondering distractedly if her eyes had always been such an intense shade of blue.

"Right."

Neither of them moved for several seconds, their breath creating clouds of steam in the air around them. Marinette licked her lips unconsciously and Adrien felt his whole body leaning forward at the tempting gesture.

"Right! Well I guess I'll see you at Nino's party in a few days," Adrien said, "later!" He turned and began walking away before he could do anything stupid.

"Hey Adrien!" she called after him.  
"Yeah?" he looked back over his shoulder.  
"What would you say if I told you that I like you?" she asked with a nervous smile, bouncing a little on her toes.

"I like you to," he said fondly.

"No, I mean like… if I told you that I have a crush on you?" she said, not dropping her gaze.

"Oh." Adrien could swear that the air had just been forcibly removed from his lungs.

"Yeah," she laughed.

"Oh," he said again stupidly.

"I'm not saying that I do," she added hurriedly, her shimmering blue eyes still unwaveringly locked on his own, "I'm just saying if I did… if let's say after Christmas I asked you if you wanted to go see a movie, or get coffee, or something…"

"Wow… um… I… I don't …"

"This is all hypothetically of course," she grinned that large, crooked, awkward grin that he had always found so insanely cute.

"Of- of course," he swallowed.

"Since you will probably have a girlfriend by then."

He raised his eyebrow skeptically. Regardless of his efforts, he had thus far yet to come close to making either of the girls in his life laugh with his ridiculous puns.

Marinette ignored him and continued.

"But, you know, in some other universe where you didn't, where this other girl didn't exist. If I ask you out on a date, what do you think you would say?"

Adrien could barely think over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears. His mind seemed to be caught on an endless loop of _what if, what if what if…_

"It's… it's hard to say really. I mean I like you, a lot," he managed to stammer out at last.

"Hypothetically," she said teasingly.

"Right Hypothetically. And hypothetically… I mean, I wouldn't want you to just be some kind of rebound. Cause while a couple of months of- how did Alya describe it? Elaborate dating coupled with excessively passionate lovemaking before the inevitable break up?- With you… well most of that sounds pretty fantastic I am not going to lie, but… you deserve better than a guy who's trying to get over some other girl. And hypothetically I don't think getting rejected would just make those feelings go away."

"And what if, hypothetically, I said I didn't mind? That I know all of that, and was willing to take that risk?"

Adrien wondered if the world had somehow come to a hault, if they were trapped in some sort of timeless bubble. He was sure that his heart had stopped, that his blood was frozen in his veins as he stood at this unexpected crossroads.

He knew what he should say- let her down gently, keep their friendship safe and secure in light of his own hopeless pining. Everything he had said was true. She deserved better. She deserved someone who would adore her the way she deserved to be adored without the complications and baggage of an unattainable and undying crush on someone else. Someone who by necessity he couldn't completely walk away from even if he wanted to.

But as he stared into her shining, hopeful face, he couldn't do the right thing. Just this once he wanted to be selfish.

"Well…" he breathed, unable to stop the words from spilling from his lips, "In that case… I guess… I would say yes."

"Oh," she said softly, her awestruck expression the most brilliant thing he had ever seen.

"Hypothetically," he added, his own mouth curving into a soft smile.

"Right," she grinned taking a hesitant step forward and absently adjusting his scarf, "But hypothetically if you didn't already have a girlfriend-"

"Potential girlfriend-"

She gave him a playful glare and yanked on the end of the scarf.

" _If_ you didn't already have a girlfriend, you would… you wouldn't mind…"

He reached up and caught her hand in his, she froze her face flushing as she leaned ever so slightly towards him. With his other hand he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her hair.

"If it wasn't for her, I probably would have asked you out ages ago," he said softly. "Hypothetically."

"Hypothetically."

He gave her hand a light squeeze and then, with a monumental effort, stepped away, heading back towards the entrance to the park.

"Hey Adrien?" she called again, when he had almost reached the end of the path.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck. I have a really good feeling that things are going to work out," she gave him a jaunty salute not unlike the one he often used as Chat Noir. He chuckled lightly at the irony.

"Well that makes one of us."

"Have some faith, it's Christmas after all. Even puns seem shiny and new," she shouted out teasingly.

"Well it is the most punderful time of the year," he shot back with a grin.

Marinette just stared at him for a second before she burst out into peals of laughter, her eyes shining with genuine delight and her cheeks still stained a soft pink.

His traitorous heart skipped a beat.

"Hey I finally made you laugh," he called, unable to take his eyes off of the lovely girl in front of him.

"It's a Christmas miracle," Marinette replied with a grin, playfully reaching up and playing with her pigtails.

Adrien could feel his cheeks burning, and for the first time a small voice in the back of his mind whispered that perhaps losing this bet wouldn't be such a terrible thing.

That thought alone was enough to make him rush from the park in panic, calling out a hurried goodbye to Marinette as he sprinted away, the sound of her laugher still echoing in his ears.

…

Dec. 24th 11:00pm

"So my Lady, how are you this fine Christmas eve?" Chat Noir said, desperately hoping that he wasn't going to throw up due to his nervousness. He sidled up to Ladybug who had already made herself quit comfortable at their pre-determined meeting place.

"Actually I have had a pretty spectacular day so far," she smiled, stretching her legs out in an innocently playful gesture that made his mouth go dry. "I got the answer to a question I've been wondering about for a pretty long time."

"Oh? And what would that be?" he asked, his attention still locked in the teenaged boy haze of her unconscious posturing. How was it that she managed to seem more attractive every time he saw her?

"I'll tell you later. Besides aren't you supposed to be dazzling me with your wit?" she teased.

Chat cleared his throat and focused back on the task at hand. He had a bet to try and win. This was not the time to be getting distracted. Not even by his lady's ridiculously well-toned legs.

"Make no mistake My Lady, I have come prepared. I guarantee that before this night is through you will see the true greatness of my punny humor."

Ladybug gave him a sly smile and scooted a little closer.

"Well," she said grinning, "it is the most punderful time of the year."

"What… no! You can't say that!" Chat cried, "I was going to say that and you were supposed to laugh and-"

He was cut off as Ladybug's lips covered his own.

It was like the entire world had ground to a screeching hault. She was kissing him! She was kissing _HIM_!

"Silly kitty," she gave him another gentle peck against his lips before pulling away, "you already did."

"Wait wha…" he stammered, his brain trying desperately to reorient itself after their kiss. It didn't help that Ladybug had cuddled into his side, her head resting on his shoulder as she nuzzled her nose into his neck.

Not that he was complaining mind you, but it was making it very difficult to think.

"I love you Adrien," she sighed, lifting her head and placing a feather light kiss against his jaw.

"What? But- How!"

She didn't answer. Instead, she continued to leave a trail of kisses up the side of his face.

"I love everything about you," she said between kisses, "Even your stupid terrible jokes. I'm just so happy that it's you."

She met his lips again and this time he was able to rally himself enough to wrap his arms around her, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss. She nibbled questioningly on his lower lip and he let out a soft moan of pleasure, melting into her.

When they finally broke the kiss he squeezed her tightly to his chest, not even caring about the hows or the whens… she was here, with him. She loved him. Did anything else even matter?

"I love you too. So much," he sighed, burying his face into her neck.

"Merry Christmas Adrien."

"Merry Christmas my Lady."

For the next few minutes there were no words, only the sound of two hearts beating amidst the occasional quiet gasps for air as they kissed in the moonlight.

Adrien took back every harsh thought he had ever had about Nino's longwinded ramblings about the merits of kissing. Kissing was fantastic. If anything Nino hadn't done it enough justice. Or maybe it was just that he was finally kissing his Lady, and as in so many other things she simply exceeded normal expectations.

Eventually though they had to break apart, smiling and breathing heavily.

"So… If I were to ask you out on a date after Christmas, would you say yes?" she asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Of course. Although our choices might be a little limited give the whole secret identity thing. Well at least on your part," he laughed.

"What if I said that we didn't have to keep everything a secret anymore? No masks, just us. The real us. What if I told you that I could meet you for coffee? You know, hypothetically."

She gazed up at him flirtatiously as the familiar words clicked in his mind.

"…Marinette?"

There was a flash of pink light and her transformation melted away revealing an extremely satisfied and prettily made up Marinette. Clearly she had planned this entire thing from the beginning.

"Hello Kitty," she said shyly. She wrung her hands together, a soft blush gracing her features, and for the first time Adrien realized that she must have been just as terrified as he had been this whole time.

"Oh thank god."

"You are a monster my Lady."

"What?" Marinette pulled away slightly to stare at him, her eyes narrowed suspiciously at his playful chiding.

"I am serious," Adrien said, trying and failing to maintain a serious expression, "do you have any idea that kind of torture you put me through today? I've been an absolute wreck."

"And that is my fault?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll have you know that I was fully prepared to throw in the towel and give up on you-"

"oh really?"

"-let you run off with the classmate you were clearly smitten over-"

"Which was you by the way-"

"And accept that we would never be anything more than friends."

"You already told me this as Marinette you realize."

"Meanwhile my stunningly beautiful and incredible classmate tells me that she has a crush on me-"

"hypothetically."

"-and wants to date me-"

"again hypothetically."

"-leaving me wracked with guilt and confusion for the whole afternoon! Because here I was getting excited, _excited mind you_ , at the idea of you turning me down, because then I could date Marinette. After months upon months of being hopelessly in love with you. What sort of a terrible person did that make me? Crushing on two girls at the same time. And here you were the same person this whole time, and you just let me suffer in ignorance."

"Aw poor kitty."

"Like I said my Lady, a monster," he sighed dramatically.

"You're right, I am a horrible beast. However shall I make it up to you?"

"I demand 100 kisses in apology."

"Ok," she laughed, snuggling contentedly into his embrace.

"And a box of macarons."

…

December 25th 1:35am

The two heroes sat atop the forward ledge of Norte Dame, occasionally waving down at the crowd that had begun emerging from the Christmas Vigil service. Neither had wanted to go home after their revelation and this was the first excuse that had come to mind.

Chat planted a playful kiss on Ladybugs cheek eliciting an excited cry from the crowd below.

"You know, I think that it's appropriate that we got together at Christmas," he said entwining his fingers with hers and delighting at the soft blush that stained her cheeks in response.

"Why is that?" she said, still looking down and waiving to the crowd.

"Well it's a nice parallel to when we first really became friends," he said casually, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"As Ladybug and Chat Noir?" she said, finally looking at him with a confused expression.

"No as Marinette and Adrien," he said, holding in his laughter at her look of absolute bafflement.

"What does that have to do with Christmas?" she asked suspiciously.

"Don't you remember all the rain dear? Get it Reindeer…" Chat broke into a Cheshire grin as Ladybug groaned, letting her head fall against his shoulder in pretend misery.

"Oh God, this is my life now isn't it?" she stated resignedly.

"You know you love me," he said softly, gently cupping her chin and tilting her face to meet his adoring gaze.

"Yes. I really do."

The crowd around Notre Dame Cathedral let out a triumphant cheer as the two heroes shared a long, lingering kiss.

Fin


End file.
